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May 25, 2002

The Guy Lottery

This is my wedding anniversary. I guess you can say it's the ideal guy anniversary. My wife slept late, so I got up ran to Wal-Mart, got a dozen roses and a box of candy. At the checkout I took out one of the roses, smiled at the checker and said, "this is my 11th anniversary so I don't need this one." and handed her the rose. She'd seemed a bit distant and slightly grumpy until then. I'd like to think I made her day, but she was checking at a Wal-Mart on a Saturday morning in Tulsa. I doubt the good cheer lasted beyond the next dozen customers.

I drove home, placed the roses and the candy next to my wife on the bed. She dragged her eyelids open for a second, took a fleeting glance at the roses, then fell promptly back to sleep without saying a word. Our four year old was dying of curiosity about the roses (she hadn't seen the candy yet). "Mommy, Daddy got you flowers!!" she said wriggling into the bed.  My wife has developed the ability to ignore anything my kids say that isn't a scream or a serious plea for help, before 9am. So there was no answer. Since my wife hadn't worked the night before, I asked, "Don't you need to get up?" She dragged her eyelids back up across her eyes again and squinted at the clock, then her eyes fell on the roses again. She paused -- "Why did you get these?"

Could it be?!? Could it possibly be?!? Every guy's dream! The guy lottery, the big one!

"Uh, it's our anniversary."

"Oh, yes. I forgot"

Cha-ching!! "Mr. Lewis you are the grand prize winner. Johnnie tell us what he's won." "Well, Bob, Jack has won the perpetual use of this morning to use at any time as the trump card for any argument. He will never have to remember another anniversary, birthday, holiday or any other date of so-called importance." Crowd roars.

Ah, it's nice. I'm trying to figure out what to spend my prize on. I don't drink or carouse around with my buddies (most of them are married, and some live in a different state). But I guess I could learn. heh, heh, heh, heh, heh.


Posted by Jack Lewis at May 25, 2002 06:32 PM