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June 14, 2002

A Day in the Life of Gracie

The following is a partial, days schedule for our cat, Gracie. We have two cats, Gracie we got first as a tiny kitten a year ago January. We found her wandering near my dad's pond far from any houses, just barely old enough to be weaned. Charlie wandered in the house, half grown about six months later. We didn't intend to have two cats, but Charlie was so friendly, and Gracie took to him so well, we didn't have the heart to turn him out. My wife frowned at the cost of having Charlie neutered, but I knew we'd all be frowning at the results if we didn't. My wife frowned even more at the cost of Gracie's surgery when she slipped out and got half her leg chewed away by something (we think a car's radiator belt) Her beautiful, luxurious black fur now has a horrible scar in the back, but she doesn't seem to notice.

When I was about halfway finished with this, I asked my wife in to read what I had of it, Gracie came with her, and sat behind me as I read it, occasionally placing her front paw on my shoulder. She's now curled up on the bed glaring at me.

5:30am -- Wake up, and prepare for daily activity.
6:00am -- Large human awakes, follow him to bathroom, meow loudly outside door.
6:10am -- Large human walks to kitchen, stay in front in effort to trip him.
6:12am -- Rub against large human's legs while he does stuff in kitchen, meowing loudly for no reason.
6:30am -- Make morning rounds, inspect for new smells and generally announce presence.
7:00am -- Sit at window and stare at activity outside, making sure stray cats can see me and be jealous that I'm in a safe, air-conditioned house.
7:30am -- Walk beneath the feet of large human as he attempts to cook breakfast.
8:30am -- Morning nap.
9:30am -- Claw sharpening time, find most expensive piece of furniture, sink in claws, pull strenuously and repeatedly.
10:00am -- Sit at window and stare at activity outside, making sure stray cats can see me and be jealous that I'm in a safe, air-conditioned house.
10:45am -- Play with foot of large human. See how deeply teeth can be sunk before human yells.
11:00am -- Run across face of female adult human who got in from work at 4am.
11:30am -- Walk beneath feet of large human as he attempts to cook lunch.
12:00pm -- Humans eat lunch, noisily hack up hair ball next to table.
12:15pm -- Noon nap.
1:30pm -- Carefully watch female adult human, now awake, and lay in front of her forcing her to step over me, repeat at leisure.
2:00pm -- Sit at window and stare at activity outside, making sure stray cats can see me and be jealous that I'm in a safe, air-conditioned house.
3:00pm -- Claw sharpening time again.
3:30pm -- Afternoon nap.
7:00pm -- Wake up from nap, nibble a bit of food.
7:05pm -- Strut around house announcing presence, inspect for any unusual smells
7:15pm -- Wrestle with Charlie.
7:40pm -- Inspect laps of humans for potential comfortable spot, stop at each lap making sure anus is positioned directly in human's face.
7:45pm -- Play chase with Charlie, focusing on running across the shoulders and laps of anyone in the house.
8:30pm -- Food bowl empty, crawl in lap of large human, meow loudly.
8:31pm -- Continue to meow while large human sends someone to fill bowl.
8:32pm -- Rub against legs of child fetching food, making child trip.
8:35pm -- Sniff at filled food bowl, and casually leave without eating any.
8:37pm -- Spot enemy housefly on ceiling, stalk!
8:45pm -- Enemy has stopped, possibly within jumping reach, leap and knock vase of flowers over, spilling water.
8:55pm -- Enemy hovers over table, pursue enemy taking great care to step in every dish on table.
9:02pm -- Fly has become boring, NOT TOO HARD TO CATCH, just boring.
9:15pm -- Sit in front of humans and bathe genitals thoroughly.
9:20pm -- Ignore expensive, carefully prepared water dish, and climb up on aquarium to drink, scaring fish.
9:30pm -- Stare at door and meow in low menacing tones, no reason, it just ticks off the humans.
9:40pm -- Still meowing at door, occasionally pacing.
10:05pm -- Joined at door by Charlie.
10:30pm -- Give up on door, human children all asleep, give them inspection.
10:45pm -- Leap onto large human's desk, stare at arrow shaped bug that flits across lighted screen.
10:50pm -- Walk to the other side of large human's desk, stepping on keyboard, laugh quietly as large human yells.
11:05pm -- Large human now in bed, inspect by walking across large human's face.
11:15pm -- Large human now asleep, wake by wrestling with Charlie across large human's bed, laugh quietly with Charlie as large human yells.
11:35pm -- Attack vicious foot shaped monster hiding beneath blankets on large human's bed.
11:35:05pm -- Try to land safely on opposite side of room after being flung there by vicious foot shaped monster.
11:40pm -- Play chase with Charlie, trying to get as close as possible to any fragile or loose object carelessly left on any table or counter tops.
11:55pm -- Sit at window and stare at activity outside, wishing I could be out playing with the stray cats.
12:45am -- Climb to top bunk in children's room and sleep.


Posted by Jack Lewis at June 14, 2002 07:43 AM