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June 29, 2002

Addition Ruled Unconstitutional

In a surprise ruling, Friday, the infamous 9th Circuit Court of Appeals declared that the use or teaching of addition in government run schools is unconstitutional because the plus sign resembles the Christian symbol of the cross.

The ruling, if not overturned, will mean that school children in the states under the 9th Circuit Court's jurisdiction can no longer be taught or use addition.

The case was brought by a Eugene Braindead who, while having no children of his own, claimed he was emotionally damaged by the flagrant use of the plus sign, in blatant violation of the Constitution's clearly written principle of Separation of Church and State. "It's high time we ended all this religious indoctrination by the schools. I'm mean if we don't stop these religious fanatics they'll be putting all us Atheists into gas chambers, next!!"

Earnestine Dumas-Abrick of the civil rights organization People for the Atheist Way released a statement supporting the court's decision. "For too long the religious majority of this nation has run roughshod over the US Constitution. If the Founding Fathers had wanted us to violate Atheists' rights by forcing them to use religious symbols like this they wouldn't have put 'Separation of Church and State' in the Constitution, now would they."

Other civil rights leaders have also given support for the ruling. James Crapferbranes of the Atheists-Communists Litigation Union said, "Finally we get the courts to realize that these hidden religious icons are not to be allowed. Atheists and other non-Christians can be free to not have to bow down to the Christian religion by using these obvious religious icons when doing math."

Schools in the nine states under the Circuit Courts jurisdiction have been told to simply not do addition. When math teachers pointed out that addition is the most basic form of math, and no other math could be taught without first understanding addition, a spokesman for the court repeated that they may not do or teach addition. The court further ordered schools to not substitute an other symbol until the court can take a closer look at the use of the small case letter "t".


Posted by Jack Lewis at June 29, 2002 09:27 AM