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May 13, 2005

Ousted Democrats start new Church, oust God

The Therapist is reporting that the nine former members of East Waynesville Baptist church, have begun their own church reflecting their view of the supremacy of Liberal Democrat thinking over traditional Christianity.

"What we've needed for a long time supercedes the democrat/republican issues," said one member of the new nine-member church. "We've had a big problem with the whole theological part anyway. Jesus is way too high on a pedestal. He's got notches coming."

Members ay the new congregational assembly will be called the Anti Theological Holy Ecumenical Intelligence Sanctuary of Tolerance (ATHEIST), and that a “deity free” environment will be stressed, encouraged, and taught. Members do concede that a hastily-formed congregation six-months from major holidays presents certain, insurmountable obstacles—particularly in the areas of iconography.

“ We are, admittedly, at a loss for a nativity scene replacement this holiday season,” said one. “Although we have considered attempting to anthropomorphize a few psychological principles to illustrate the needs of humanistic man. We just received a cardboard display of Pavlov’s salivating dogs—a concurrent image with man’s thirst for knowledge.”

Members deny that a display representing Sigmund Freud’s marriage to his mom is on the table.

“Look, that didn’t happen,” said one. “Although technically we could still do it under the umbrella of artistic projection. We would prefer a chronologically-oriented display that takes the seven deadly sins, and fuses them to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Hat Tip: What Attitude Problem

Posted by Danny Carlton at May 13, 2005 02:58 PM

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This is a bald face lie. Not that I care but you know as well as I do this is BS. How do you rightwing nuts who lie in the name of the almighty
sleep at night?

Posted by: pudintame at May 14, 2005 12:35 PM

Get a dictionary, look up the word "satire". Then look up "chill pill".

Posted by: Danny Carlton at May 14, 2005 05:16 PM

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