(what a blatant rip-off, this is from 2004 I think)

Republican National Convention Schedule

New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

Actually there's not much left of it after Liberals and their activist judges have gotten through with it.

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

I'm assuming this would be another nonsensical attack on the 50+ nations that joined the US in attacking Iraq in what Dimocrats still call a "unilateral" asssault.

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

Typical Liberal racism

10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy

Not needed for the DNC convention since it's their first language

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans

More Liberal racism: ignore the vast number of Black Republicans. FYI, the first 22 Blacks in Congress were all Republican, which means that even Black Democrats are not allowed to acknowledge their existence by order of the Massas of the Liberal Plantation.