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August 31, 2008

Little known Sarah Palin Facts

  • Sarah Palin became governor because five children left her with too much spare energy.
  • Sarah Palin could not find a good man, so her husband was constructed from the DNA of Washington, Lee, and Genghis Khan.
  • Sarah Palin will send Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.
  • Sarah Palin is on loan from the Justice League.
  • NFL teams may draft Sarah Palin, if they forfeit all their other players forever, to maintain league parity.
  • Iran’s nuclear program is a response to Sarah Palin.
  • We don’t know who would win in a Chuck Norris - Sarah Palin cage match because they’ve never invented a cage that can hold Sarah Palin.
  • Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even before she was born that Sarah Palin would never finish last.
  • Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does - usually with her bare hands.
  • Three of Sarah Palin’s five kids came out sideways - she never flinched.
  • Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.
  • It’s not raining in DC. Those are God’s tears of joy that McCain picked Sarah Palin.
  • Chuck Norris wishes he was Sarah Palin trapped in a man’s body.
  • Sarah Palin paid her way through school by hunting for yeti pelts with a slingshot.
  • Sarah Palin knows the location of DB Cooper’s body because she threw him from the plane.
  • The Northern Lights are really just the reflection from Sarah Palin’s eys.
  • The raw energy of Sarah Palin melts the Alaskan ice roads every spring.
  • Sarah Palin used to wrestle kodiak bears in Alaskan bare knuckles fight clubs.
  • Sarah Palin once bagged a caribou by staring it down until it died.
  • Sarah Palin turned down a job as skipper of a Deadliest Catch boat because it wasn’t challenging enough
  • Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it’s in their interest to jump into the boat.
  • Sarah Palin once guided Santa’s sleigh through an Alaskan blizzard with the light from her smile.
  • Without her glasses, looking deep into Sarah Palin’s eyes will blind you with the beauty of the tundra sun.
  • Sarah Palin would have won Miss Alaska, but she forgot to clean off the polar-bear blood.
  • Sarah Palin wants to drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, but to save time, she's going to let oil companies do it for her.
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    source: http://www.palinfacts.com/

    Posted by Danny Carlton at August 31, 2008 6:47 AM

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